so i had the most craziest weekend. To sum it up... saturday was shit. sunday was awesome! It's strange how quickly things can jump from being absolutely terrible to just realising that life is amazing and that every part of it should be cherished cause it could be all taken away from you quickly.
moments like spending time with friends is important. not that i don't realise it. but it's when times are rough that you appreciate the things that matter most. I guess i just never understood the responsibilities i have in my life. I mean i do know what i need to do, but you know when things just have more meaning when you your shown or someone brings it up? Well it happens quite often in our lives, more than we notice and it's nice to know that GOD is giving us these opportunities to see what we fail to see. The amazing blessings that he continues to shower us. From the big to the very miniscule. He is taking care of us whether we decide to ignore the things he's given us. But sometimes, we should just grow up and realise that we too have a choice. YES it's nice to always be shown but what about trying to stop waiting for answers and start making them!?
I finally understood this. The Sunday had opened my eyes to see how amazing my life is. Lol i sound like i've been hiding in my shell for ages but that's not what i mean. I mean to say that as much as i can be bored and it feels like life stops... i stop because i choose to stay in a 'boring' state, while the rest of the world keeps moving. I always remembered my notes in my phone. It says..
"the world never stops. you do. That's why we must keep moving."
and. i'm beginning to see it more and more since i got back from the states. You know that excuse... the i'm not ready excuse? well yeh. It was the main thought in my mind because as soon as i stepped off that plane, work needed to be done, and nothing was going to be done without me. i wanted to just take it easy and let everything just wait for me. but sometimes we have no choice... well truth is. we do. you know why? being ready is simply a matter of CHOICE. if you know me and like we hang out, then you'll understand that i have a tough time choice. it's my number flaw and hopefully i can conquer it. see, we are always ready. I don't remember who told me this but i do know that this person told me that we are always ready... but we always make an excuse to say that we're not. We might as well just say that i don't want things to change and i like things being the way they are. but, this excuse is what's keeping us unhappy. i might sound like a hypocrite but take my advice or not... it's advice... FUCK. lol. why not say that your ready... ready to move forward from all the shit... from whatever it is that you feel is holding you back. Because once you make that decision things start changing. You change. and you change for the better.
just for a second... i don't even know why i'm giving advice... i guess it's just the thoughts that run through my mind during the weekend.
it is sad to know that people easily dwell on the negatives. i do it. and it sucks when we could be searching for all the positives in life. life is amazing if we all just opened our eyes. =]
and life was amazing this weekend. I shared my time with my Collektive fam and it was epic! it was my own little sign from above, that i should be so proud of being around so many awesome people. and to even be complimented by strangers who follow me on facebook or youtube, who tell me that i inspire them... like WOW... there isn't more that i could have asked for, but it's being given to me... to the Collektive... and it's time that i start making things happen in my life. and yeh. at the moment i'm still in awe about going to the states and coming back and achieving so many things since i got back. thanks everyone for always believing in me. =] and taco's was awesome! =]
(rob acting a fool)
and with that said. that's it =].
p.s. and yes times are tough. and we're also allowed to express how we feel. and as much as i know i'm at a good positive place right now, i guess i would like to express how sometimes i wish things didn't have to change.
sometimes i wish you were still here
sometimes i wish it was me
sometimes i wish it was the right time
sometimes i wish i was better
sometimes i wish you understood
sometimes i wish i got the things that i ask for
... and sometimes i miss you cause i felt special.
but i know i'll feel like this again =]
(sorry for the longness of this post. keep reading. things are gonna go wild!)
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